Haunted.

[xoagray]

Have you ever had it happen where something you've seen in the past takes the joy out of an otherwise good thing? I haven't had it happen often, but once in a while something will hit me just right and bring up feelings or memories that I haven't had to think about or feel in a long time. It happened again just a short while ago.

I was browsing social media and a friend posted a photo of their fursuit. It was cute, maybe even a little hot. (Or maybe I was just a little horny at the time and it initially just tapped into that on some level). I just looked at it for a little bit and then moved on as one does with posts like that. But, a few minutes later I was thinking about it again.

I couldn't get the image out of my head for some reason, and instead of it being a source of joy, or maybe half hearted arousal. it started hitting different. I hadn't been feeling anything negative at all when I initially saw it. But as I looked at it again that feeling got stronger. it was pain from somewhere. And then I realized what was going on. It had nothing to do with the image other than the pose. The last time I saw someone in that pose, they'd been beaten and were crying.

I've been through a lot. I've seen things I wish I hadn't, and been through things I'm sometimes glad I don't entirely remember. But now and again, like tonight, those things come back to haunt me. They say time heals all wounds, but I guess some of mine are deep enough that even after all these years they're still healing.